Looking at this combination of words maybe your thinkin "These words don’t go together at all." Maybe they seem like a contradiction to each other. Maybe your thinkin I’m crazy for how I put all those together. Well if you just look at the surface of these words and that’s all you see then you are right. If you look deeper into the different meanings and emotions of the words, then you will see what I see when looking at this combination of words. What I see takes my breath away.
For a while now God seems to have been quiet in my life. It’s not the He’s not there or not alive to me, but just not really speaking anything new or maybe it’s that I haven’t been listening. I think we’ve all been in this place. Then one day these exact words dropped into my spirit and here’s the story behind them.
Relating these word to myself I have this to say. There was a time in my life when I didn’t understand love in the least little bit. In fact this crazy love that loves with abandon, started in oblivion to itself in my life. As weird as that sounds, it is none the less true. One day I sat down beside this love and never even noticed it was there. I even thought it was kinda stuck up and looking down it’s nose at me. I called it “the preacher man”. It would tell me I was wrong in my sin and to come to Jesus, but I felt no love, only the “better than you” attitude coming from it. Enter a sunrise…
Like when you watch a sunrise, it’s all just pretty colors one minute and the next there sits the sun in all it’s glory. You never really saw it fully appear, it was just there. Love snuck in past my own “I’m better than you, when I’m really dying inside to be noticed and loved” attitude. One minute I had no idea about this love and the next it was just there. Without my knowing it parked in my heart and began to grow with abandon.
In case your wondering this story so far is about James and I. We were together 9 months before we got married. I can’t tell you the exact moment when I realized I loved him. It was like I always did and that was the right and natural thing. Neither of us were looking, we were just doing our own thing. His was being a preacher man telling people they needed Jesus. Mine was living my life on the fence between right and wrong. I didn’t do anything really “bad”, just followed my own way. Then like the sun, our loved happened! We always say love is a choice and it is, but it’s so much more. The emotion of love is another thing all together when in an upstanding follow God's design relationship. It’s the stuff of a crazy mad relentless love, an ardent fervor for each other. Put the "choice of love" together with the "emotion of love" and you have this thing that leaves you feeling and knowing that your gonna explode. It makes you want to scream, laugh, cry, shout, dance, smile, throw your arms to the heaven's…You get the picture. To this day our love has grown each day. I look forward to where it’s taking us for as many days as we have together.
Next I'm gonna turn this toward the Spirit inside us and God! Stay tuned...
Athena
That was beautiful! It's the kind of love everyone longs for. I'm so glad you and James have this love for each other.
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